“The first gulp from the glass of natural sciences will turn you into an atheist, but at the bottom of the glass God is waiting for you.”  

– Werner Heisenberg

The topic of faith is a deep ocean and I am a poor swimmer.

Few subjects are as weighty or controversial as faith.  Some think the concept of a higher power is ridicules.  Richard Dawkins, a famous atheist, compared religious faith to mental illness.  Dawkins has an impressive list of academic credentials and has been called one of the Four Horsemen of modern atheism, along with notable intellectuals Sam Harris, Daniel Dennett the late Christopher Hitchens.

To balance the scales, it should be noted that Blaise Pascal, Galileo, Francis Bacon, Isaac Newton, Johannes Kepler, Louis Pasteur, Copernicus and Heisenberg (for you Breaking Bad fans) were all believers.  Just sayin’.

Christians and atheists can play the one-up game for days, tossing out the names of geniuses who either believe in God or don’t.  That exercise gets you nowhere.  Faith, it seems, is an individual decision.  Each person has to weigh the topic for himself and determine if a “big G” God makes sense.

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

This is among the best known definitions of faith in the Bible, but it presents something of a contradiction.  How can you be sure of something you hope for?  Can you have conviction about something you cannot see?  Is Paul, the author of Hebrews, saying we “hope” God exists?

The Bible tells us that Paul, himself a very learned man, was formerly known as Saul.  He was an enthusiastic persecutor of the early church and responsible for the death of many Christians.  As the story goes, he encountered the resurrected Jesus and instantly became a believer.  He saw and believed.  We modern day disciples don’t have that luxury

Jesus Himself said, “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

Why do I believe in God?  I can’t see Him and, unlike Bigfoot, there is no photograph of Him.  I’ve never heard His audible voice and if I tell a skeptic that He has “spoken to me,” I’ll get that condescending look that you give a kid who says the dog ate his homework.  Why am I willing to invest significant amounts of time, money, sweat and emotion in a deity that I cannot scientifically prove?

Well, I simply don’t believe the universe is an accident.  I think Jesus was the real deal; He died and rose from the dead (hey Dawkins, I must be crazy!).  I’ve seen the evidence of how God radically changes lives.  And I’ve seen some miracles – not parting-of-the-seas stuff but certainly some extraordinary things that cannot be explained outside of a “Big G” GOD!  I also think that Jesus’s teachings are spot on.  Even if you are not a Christian, His advice for humanity is excellent.

While I would like to say that my faith is the result of great reasoning and logic, alas, I cannot.  Actually, the credit goes to God.  He is the founder and perfecter of my faith (Hebrews 12:2).  As someone said, the only thing I contributed to my salvation was my own sin.  The only thing I have contributed to my faith is an open mind.

Faith is a gift given by a loving Father.  You don’t have to be a genius to open it.

CAPITULATION:  The action of surrendering or ceasing to resist an opponent or demand.

My wife and I periodically accept the challenge of keeping our two grandkids for extended weekend visits.  We obviously forget the horror of multiple toddlers.

The kids are not inordinately bad.  The issue is age – they are three and two.  Humans of this age cannot be reasoned with.  They are not easily intimidated and they have no fear of grandparents.  They can, however, be bribed, which is a tactic we use often.

My grandson is a charmer who uses polite manners and disarming facial gestures to convince adults he is harmless.  He will cock his head and squint an eye when trying to make a point, but he also is capable of delivering a punch to the groin, or a kick to the groin when picked up.  I am convinced these are unintentional defense mechanisms owing to his size… at least I hope they are unintentional.  His tantrums can be fierce and he will drop his drawers and pee anywhere and everywhere, a behavior that horrifies his granddad but is, apparently, amusing to others.

My granddaughter, the Future Miss Mississippi, is adorable in a way that stops total strangers.  Huge blue eyes, dimples, incandescent grin… she should be on product packaging except that she is a manipulative little she-devil who is totally contrary.  You say “up,” she says “down;” you say “please,” she says “no;” you say “put down that antique vase!” and she runs with it like a halfback.  She eats normal food once a week; at every other meal simply says “I don’t want that” unless it is a popsicle or cookie.  Given that she is not my daughter, I’m perfectly willing to feed her a steady diet of sugar, but the aftermath is too horrifying to contemplate.

The first day of their visits are always wonderful.  We play games, swim, go to the park, and catch fireflies in the evening.  By day three the adults are playing zone defense, trying to protect property and lives, and by “lives” I mean our dog and the koi in our backyard pond.  Our schnauzer, Dodger, is the Gandhi of dogs; non-violent, quiet and he loves everyone.  After three days of being chased, hugged, kissed and pinched he is forced into hiding and will growl when confronted.

I love my grandchildren.  They are a gift from God, uniquely and wonderfully made.  They are smart, incredibly cute and they genuinely love their grandparents, which is evident when they see us.  But their love comes with a price.  The price is sanity, fatigue and frustration.  I see the thousand-yard stare in my wife’s eyes after they leave.  I see the wreckage of our home.  I feel the ache in my back and groin.  The grandkids have come and gone and once again have won the battle.  We have capitulated.

According to a recent Gallop poll, 72 percent of Americans believe moral values in this country are getting worse. Count me in that group. Of course, my definition of good morality may be different than yours. Still, I think we all can agree that things are different than they used to be.

As a society our behavior is more crass, our language more coarse, and we are not as easily shocked by violence and sex. The change has occurred somewhat gradually over decades. In 1939 moviegoers gasped when Rhett Butler told Scarlett O’Hara he didn’t give a damn. In 2013 the F-bomb was dropped 506 times in Martin Scorsese’s film, The Wolf Of Wall Street. A squad of sailors arguing with ballplayers in a locker room would have a hard time outpacing that level of profanity.

We are certainly less modest regarding nudity and sexuality. If you’re over 50 or you’ve watched reruns you remember Rob and Laura Petrie slept in twin beds on “The Dick Van Dyke Show.” Today it’s common to see sexual acts or hear sexual innuendoes on the tube. We also see unmarried sex. Even gay sex. Hollywood producers continue to push the progressive envelope as now we have shows describing the lives of transgender folk.

Are there any other sexual orientations left to explore? Wait! Don’t answer that!

It’s hard to raise kids with a sense of decency when they are immersed in a culture that swears and drops its trousers all the time. In our house my kids were not allowed to say “butt” until they were 12. We considered f-a-r-t to be the F-word. Were we old fashioned? Maybe, but our arguments were less raucous and profane than most other families. Today my kids laugh about our household language laws, but they still don’t (well, seldom) use those words around me.

Does morality matter? Yeah, I think so. The Bible is my rulebook for moral behavior and it has a lot to say about language and modesty. For instance, “Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving,” (Ephesians 5:4) I do pretty well with that admonishment except for the “foolish talk” part; if it weren’t for foolish talk I would have little to say.

For all the scantily clad women out there (you know who you are), hear this: “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without discretion,” (Proverbs 11:22). Said another way, a pig’s attractiveness is not enhanced by fine jewelry or its lack of clothing. Cover up.

Of course, my opinions on morality will not slow down the freight train of indecency and profanity in American culture. But in my house we seldom say butt and we wear clothing most of the time. That counts for something.

I don’t know if God created the universe in six literal days or not… and I don’t care. Is the description in Genesis an actual account or an allegory? I believe in a God that could create an expansive, complex universe in six seconds if that’s what he wanted to do. Perhaps not coincidentally, I find it hard to believe the universe was created by random chance over trillions of years. As a rational person the big bang and evolution seem implausible.

I don’t know if my dog is a genius, but I’m starting to think so. Dodger seems stupid and lovable, but he may be the smartest one in the house. He always gets exactly what he wants, sleeps 18 hours a day and doesn’t have a job. Pavlov in reverse? On the other hand, he has been neutered.

I don’t know when it became acceptable for men to go to bridal and baby showers. If I find the people responsible for this trend, we will have a long talk.

I don’t know how to explain to gays that I believe homosexuality is wrong in the eyes of God. At least I don’t know how to do it well. The best I can do is tell them that I, too, am a sinner and they have every right to point out areas of my life that are displeasing to God. We all have sinned and fall short of God’s standard of excellence.

I don’t know if man-made global climate change is a real thing or not. I suspect that climate change is probably real and there is some evidence of it, but I don’t know if humans are causing the problem. In fact, I kinda doubt it.

I don’t know how to use Twitter. There, I’ve said it.

I don’t know why I can’t lose weight. I’ve been jogging dutifully for two months and eliminated most sweets and junk food, yet I’m as fat as ever. Is cancer the only weight loss program that works for 60-somethings?

I don’t know if Christian bakers should make cakes for gay couples. No one should be made to do something which conflicts with their moral values. But then, maybe showing love by making that cake would be a good thing. WWJD indeed!

I don’t know where the line between faith and discernment is. Should a person “step out in faith” or wait until the decision is safer? I’ve quit two good jobs in my career because I thought God wanted me to do so. In both cases God was kind to me. Maybe that says something about God’s love and forgiveness even if we make honest mistakes.

I don’t know why hair will grow in my ears but not on my head. Seems like a cruel joke.

I don’t know how anyone could think transgender restrooms are a good idea. According to a quick Google search, there are about 700,000 trans-people in America. There are almost 750,000 registered sex offenders. Is any additional discussion necessary?

I don’t know how Google works, but I love it!

I really don’t know why my wife was attracted to me in the first place. I wasn’t rich or smart, I’m short, have a bulbous nose and ears like saucers. I also was awkward around girls. Yet, 33 years later she’s still here and as pretty as ever. Amazing.

“Words have meanings!” A very angry editor emphatically communicated this concept to me many years ago when I misused a word in some advertising copy (turns out that “anxious” and “eager” are not synonyms). His admonition led me to carefully choose my words since that day. A few nuggets of knowledge and wisdom…

Sherbet: The dessert is sher-BET not sher-BERT – there is only one R. I’m on a one-man, life-long crusade to educate English-speaking people regarding this matter. So far I’m not doing well.

Menstrual versus minstrel: Not quite a homophone, but pretty close. And wow, the meanings are totally different! Given a choice, I always prefer stories about minstrels.

Homophone versus homophobe: A homophone is a word that has the same sound as another word but is spelled differently and has a different meaning. A homophobe is… I don’t have to explain that one.

Salmon: The L is silent except when you are referring to the 19^th Century Supreme Court Justice, Salmon P. Chase. (Two lessons in one!)

Thongs: When I was a kid the word “thong” referred to a cheap sandal with that thing between your first two toes. The word means something completely different now. So if I mention that I am shopping for thongs, please understand that I’m looking for footwear.

Mother: I once heard about a study in which people were asked to identify the most beautiful word in the English language. The top choice was the word “mother.” I agree.

Cacti: I like this word simply because it is fun to say and nearly everyone knows it is the plural of cactus. Bonus: you can actually purchase neckwear that looks like a cactus and is called a cac-tie.

Male facial hair: A Van Dyke is a mustache-and-goatee combo. Muttonchops are really huge sideburns. A soul patch is a small growth of hair below the lower lip, not on the chin where it becomes a goatee. A Fu Manchu is a mustache for guys who are trying too hard to look macho.

Spelunker: one who explores caves. Comes from the Latin root word “spelunca” which means cave or cavern. Always seemed like such a weird word to me. I try to use it in conversation whenever I can.

Love: one of the two most misused words in the English language. I like football; I love my grandkids. I also love chocolate, but I don’t love it more than my grandchildren. Hmmm, wait a minute… no, that’s right, grandkids come first.

Art: The other most misused word in the English language. Art as an adjective is meaningless unless two people agree… and I am one of the two people.

Words and phrases that most dudes typically don’t understand: trivet, charger, Pashmina, duvet and “I was wrong.”

Words and phrases that most women don’t understand: Allen wrench, Stillson wrench, torque, nickel defense and “I was wrong.”

Cool: A slang word that never goes out of style. It’s etymology as slang dates at least to the 1920s and perhaps earlier. The word cool is still cool, though like art it is meaningless as an adjective unless two people agree… and I am one of the two people.

Anxious versus eager: I am eager to go to the Grizzlies game. I am anxious around grizzlies. I am sometimes anxious about the Grizzlies, but I am always eager to see them play.

Are we clear?

Of all the people mentioned in the Bible I may be most like Thomas. This is not the worst thing, nor is it the best. I would prefer to be a John, a David or… a Stephen. But being a Thomas beats being a Judas Iscariot (traitor) or an Ananias (liar).

Thomas is a man of many nicknames. We often refer to him as “Doubting Thomas.” His fellow disciples called him “Didymus,” which means “the twin.” For that reason some scholars believe he indeed had a twin brother or sister. John MacArthur in his book Twelve Ordinary Men referred to him as “Thomas The Pessimist,” which may be the best description of this enigmatic disciple.

Not a lot is known about Thomas. The Gospel of John provides most of the information. Thomas, or Ol’ Tom as I like to call him, is quoted three times in this book. First when Jesus informs the group that Lazarus is dead and that they must go to the town of Bethany, which is near Jerusalem. The Pharisees had recently threatened Jesus and the disciples were concerned that if they returned there  would be serious trouble. When informed they would be going back to the Jerusalem suburbs, Thomas stated, “let’s all go so that we can die with Jesus.”

Courageous maybe, loyal for sure, but certainly pessimistic. Tom, who had seen Jesus calm storms, feed thousands with a sack lunch and instantly heal the deaf, lame and blind, didn’t consider the possibility that Jesus might do something amazing. Jesus would eventually die in Jerusalem but it was on his schedule, not the Pharisees.

Later, during the Last Supper meeting of the disciples, Jesus told them, “I go to prepare a place for you. And you know the way to where I’m going.” Tom, eager to follow but perhaps slow on the uptake, says something like, “Lord, we don’t know where you’re going; how can we follow you?” This was the perfect set up for Jesus to deliver one of the most powerful statements in all of Scripture; “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

Thomas, the Set-Up Man.

Ol’ Tom became Doubting Thomas after the resurrection when he famously said, “Unless I stick my fingers in his hand wounds and my hand in his side, I will never believe.” His skepticism was understandable; he had seen the brutality of the crucifixion. To paraphrase the Munchkin coroner in Oz, Jesus was not just merely dead, he was really most sincerely dead. But not for long! Thomas, upon seeing the resurrected Jesus, would make the profound statement, “My Lord and My God!” Nuf said.

I am a lot like Ol’ Tom. I’ve seen God do some incredible things, miracles really. Yet I become skeptical whenever I face a problem. Sure, I’m loyal and I want to follow Jesus, but I have to be taught over and over to trust the Lord. God does His work on His own timetable. My job is to believe and be patient. God will always fulfill His promises; don’t doubt it!

It’s easier to get gum out of your hair than to let go of a grudge. Why? Because the typical human body contains about a hundred pounds of pride and only a few ounces of humility.

Kindness and forgiveness are often harder to find than missing socks on washday. When someone says something really hateful to you, how do you respond? Most people react like Mentos in a Diet Coke – they spew anger and hate. I want to behave more like an Alka-Seltzer; some fizzing that quickly subsides and then turns into soothing relief. Sadly, I’m usually more like Mentos.

Hollywood glorifies the grudge. Movies like “Gladiator” and “Unforgiven” won Oscars for their portrayals of vengeance. Viewers (like me) find themselves cheering for the Russell Crowe and Clint Eastwood as they exact violent revenge on their antagonists. We love to see people get even. Karmic justice is entertaining even for us Christians.

Why do we act this way? I think it’s because we all secretly want to be God. Not “a” god, but “THE” God. Remember what the serpent said to Eve? Eat the fruit, you’ll be like God! She totally fell for it. I probably would have, too.

The irony is that God wants us to put away pride and put on humility. Philippians 2 tells us that Jesus took the form of a servant and humbled himself to the point of death. We should emulate Jesus. Instead we act more like Kanye West, who has compared himself to Picasso, Michelangelo and, yes, God. If there were a Mount Rushmore of Ego, Kanye would be up there with Justin Bieber, Beyonce and The Donald.

I must admit that my ego is big and my skin is thin. When someone hurts or mocks me, or doesn’t allow me to have my way, I get punitive, even if only in my thoughts. Actual sin always begins as a thought. If we dwell on it a little it may trickle out of our mouths as an insult, gossip or sarcastic remark. It often ends up as hate which we keep stored in the closet of our heart, a closet that we rarely bother to clean out. Occasionally we pull out that hate so we can revel in the bitterness. One day they’ll get what’s comin’ to ‘em!

Yeah, we want revenge. Meanwhile the Holy Spirit urges us to forgive. How do we flip the switch from hate to love? Pray. Pray for the ability to forgive and pray for the person who caused your anger. “Bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.” That’s Jesus’s advice. Be like Jesus. Don’t be like Kanye.

100 reasons I’m glad I’m a guy: Reason #15 – Movies

Rocky, Black Hawk Down, Animal House, The Outlaw Josey Wales… Compare those cinema classics with snooze inducers such as The English Patient, The Notebook, A Walk to Remember, and any movie with Julia Roberts. The difference is obvious… guy movies inspire and entertain; chick flicks demoralize and bore.

I’ve seen The Outlaw Josie Wales at least 25 times and I get fired up every time Clint Eastwood snarls, “dyin’ ain’t much of a livin’, boy.” Likewise, when someone I know is confronted with a big problem, I remember the sage counsel of John Belushi in Animal House: “my advice to you is to start drinking heavily.”

Everything I hate about chick flicks is pretty much summed up in the move Pretty Woman. There are three good reasons why I hate Pretty Woman. One, the story is patently unbelievable. The premise of the movie – handsome wealthy dude hires a prostitute for social functions then falls in love – is ludicrous. Rich guys, especially those that look like Richard Gere, have their choice of like 1,000 beautiful women, most of whom are not working prostitutes. Then there’s the dialogue.  Edward: “So what happens after he climbs up and rescues her?” Vivian: “She rescues him right back.”  Sheesh.  That line may elicit weeping from women, but it lacks the raw emotion of a classic Rocky quote like, “You’re gonna eat lightnin’ and you’re gonna crap thunder!” That’s good writing!

The third reason? I just can’t stand Julia Roberts.

The most important criteria for guy movie greatness is, when it’s over, you want to be the dude in the movie. Me? I want to be Otter from Animal House. Does any woman really want to be Thelma or Louise? What did they accomplish? I’ll tell ya – they wrecked a really cool car.

Guys enjoy movies that are exciting, action-packed, thrilling and exciting (yes, I wrote “exciting” twice). Guys want to see fighting, monsters, gunfire and car crashes. Women like to see dancing, high fashion and men crying. I will admit there are some so-called chick flicks that I enjoy. A League of Their Own and Mean Girls come to mind. I like A League of Their Own because it’s based on a true story about women playing professional baseball. I like Mean Girls because Julia Roberts isn’t in it.

Some hopes and dreams for 2016…

Millions of Millennials suddenly and simultaneously realize that rap is not actually music but a form of rhythmic chanting that is neither entertaining nor inspirational.

Strip poker for politicians! Every time a presidential candidate lies, exaggerates or says something patently ridiculous they are forced to remove an article of clothing. Prediction: they’re all naked by March.

The Philadelphia 76ers beat the Golden State Warriors. It would be the basketball equivalent of seeing a leprechaun riding a unicorn.

Someone develops a new kind of milk chocolate that promotes lean muscle growth.

Kim Kardashian and Miley Cyrus keep their clothes on.

The producers of Star Wars: The Force Awakens decide to give all the movie’s proceeds to homeless shelters.

Every member of Isis develops gout and hemorrhoids. They are debilitated to the point of unconditional surrender. Christian missionaries then build hospitals to care for them.

My wife’s smile is trademarked and everyone who sees her has to pay a royalty.

My favorite football team goes undefeated, plays for the national championship and invites me to the coin flip at the big game.

In an act of great irony and heroism, cops rescue Quentin Tarantino from inner-city gang members who are angry that his new movie, The Hateful Eight, is so horrible that they want their money back.

A new dog food is developed that makes dog poop evaporate after 30 seconds.

Every Christian missionary working around the world has the prayer and financial support they need.

A New York advertising executive “discovers” my granddaughter, the future Miss Mississippi, and uses her in TV commercials. The commercials earn millions of dollars for everyone involved, including her grandfather who acts as her agent.

My son gets a knock on the head that changes his brain chemistry so that he enjoys picking up dirty laundry and washing dishes.

Caitlyn Jenner enters the 2016 Olympics in an effort to win the women’s heptathlon. She/he is denied permission to compete because she/he is genetically a man. She/he files a discrimination lawsuit against the Olympic Federation and wins. The Olympics as we know them are cancelled because the events are declared “sexist.” New Olympic Games are created where women and men compete against one another in trivia challenges and interpretive dancing. This creates a public outcry resulting in…

The National Mental Health Association determining that excessive political correctness is a mental disorder. The prescribed treatment is a two-week vacation to North Korea.

May all your dreams come true in 2016!

Our featured word for today is “microaggression.”

Microaggressions are “brief, everyday exchanges that send denigrating messages to certain individuals because of their group membership.” It’s not an outright put-down or insult, it is a comment or attitude that makes another person feel somehow inferior or uncomfortable.

Younger, healthier people often mock me for my expanding waistline and receding hairline. Is this a microaggression? As a middle-aged white guy, no one really cares if I am aggressed. I’m an easy target, the victim of doughboy discrimination.

Some examples of microaggressions cited in the news: Five American high school students were suspended on Cinco de Mayo for wearing shirts that display the American flag. Some city utility services are replacing the word “manhole” with “utility hole.” It may be considered insensitive to ask, “Where were you born?” A kid chews a Pop Tart to look like a gun and is expelled from school.

Pastry as a weapon!

Meanwhile, terrorists cut off the heads of Christians in the Middle East. Under what category do we classify that act?

Some may be surprised to know that the Bible addresses the subject of microaggression. Jesus followers are told to love others as we love ourselves. That’s actually great advice for everyone, no matter your faith or lack thereof. If we all adhered to the Golden Rule then the word microaggression would not exist, which would make this essay unnecessary.

When I tell people I was born in Arkansas, is this a microaggression against myself?

Other biblical passages on the concept of microaggression:

• Turn the other cheek (Matt. 5:39)
• Think of others as more important than yourself (Phil. 2:3)
• Do not think too highly of yourself (Romans 12:3)

These verses directly contradict human nature and a modern culture that compels us to glorify ourselves. Marketing, movies and music proclaim, “You are god!” Your comfort, image and welfare come first. Ego becomes idol. Jesus teaches us otherwise.

Here’s a concept… If someone assaults you with a microaggression, whether intentional or unintentional, just forgive them. It’s hard to do unless Jesus is your role model.

Sin as a microaggression against God. It grieves Him when we are disobedient, just as it grieves a parent when their child disobeys. He wants us to love others even if they don’t love us. Macrolove in the face of microaggressions.

So, from now on I will chew my Pop Tart into the shape of a cross and bless people with it – which is likely a microaggression to non-Christians.

For those who were counting, I used the word “microaggression” 14 times!